How many songs do I need before I have an official Femdom Album?
A quick AI search says I need at least 8, well I just finished my 2nd and loaded it to my YouTube channel. Now I ask you, seriously … how many other Mistresses in the world are producing bdsm songs? Let me answer that for you … exactly none.
If you enjoyed listening to it – I as your Mistress am commanding you to a) Subscribe to my channel and then b) click like on the video followed by c) leaving a witty comment – it MUST be witty as I want to see your humorous side come through and then d) click on that bell so you’ll be notified every time my creative mind has something to express.
And therein lies my dilemma, how to have a femdom / bdsm / human toilet slavery YouTube channel without getting kicked off the platform as has happened two times before … something I just wrote about on my Substack blog.
At this point in my life, I have to consider what I’m a guru at – because that’s what YouTube demands you be, a guru on some sub-niche – of a niche – of a niche – and toil away making videos on that particular niche until the end of time. Like, I happen to be one of if not the most obsessed Symmetra players from the game Overwatch 2 and ya, I’m a guru at playing her. My name after all is SymmGod which pisses a lot of players off lol. But do I want to make ‘how to play Symmetra at a level that nobody else can play her at” videos for the rest of my days? Fuck no.
I just play her because I would never ever let myself play any hero that has a gun as a main weapon. Secondly, my hero has to be a girl character to reflect my personality as that’s important to me and the girl has to think outside the box in order to survive – which Symm does. I was also a Mesmer in Guild Wars 2 because that character was an illusionist which matches my Mistress personality perfectly.
Anyways, point is – as a Mistress, I’m not someone the world can confine to a niche. That’s like doing a 9-5 job every day, something I haven’t done since my days as a chef working as basically slave labor at The Conrad hotel in – holy fuck that was in 2002, a whole 23 years ago. Fuck I’m getting old. In fact, I just looked at the date on my computer in the bottom right corner and it says 2025 … and it almost doesn’t seem real. It’s 2025!
But ya, fuck working for a living.
I’ve gone from being a slave at the hotel as a sous chef in training …. to massaging men at Ayala Massage shop where I was a great masseuse if you don’t mind me patting myself on my back …. to teasing men …. to dominating them …. and lately to torturing them in THE most extreme way possible, by having them exist solely on my shit for 3o days and being paid 400,000 baht to do so per month. <– for which there is a line of no less than 100 people every single month pining for the chance for me to choose them.
So ya, as I said – fuck working for a living.
You know, I once watched a movie called My Mistress – one of the very best movies about female domination (the link for it on YouTube is below, but it’s age-restricted so you won’t see the thumbnail photo) …
… and when I watched it, at a time I was Jaa’s understudy, I wanted in no uncertain terms to be THAT Mistress, to have a private home like that – with no neighbours, in the middle of nowhere and to host slaves who would travel around the world to see her just to be taken to her special bdsm room and be dominated.
And now look – that’s exactly who I have become. Especially with my femdom resort – a super private sanctuary where I basically torture men with my shit – opening later this year. You’ve no doubt seen the clip I posted on my Scatbook and my Fanvue and my Loyalfans and my Onlyfans … of the house dedicated to femdom being built.
I have submissive men fly around the world – almost instantly once I’ve chosen them – and the funny thing is that my age is in the same ballpark as the well-tenured Mistress in that movie.
Anyways, I’m telling you all that because for my first post in 2025 – which for me is the start of the third version of who I am, or Mistress Wael v3.0 I guess … that unlike 2024 where I spent the entire year figuring out how to get back to Bangkok or if I even should get back to Bangkok … that I’m now fine being “The Queen of the North” to steal and somewhat moderate a line from Jon Snow in Winterfell.
I can’t tell you how much this business of running jaa4u.com had me fretting about not having a presence in Bangkok for the first time in this website’s 14 year history.
I’ve gone from almost making the colossal mistake of having Rin take over the business, to almost having an ex go-go dancer sex girl taking over to having a Swedish Mistress take over and most recently turning down what would have been the fattest Mistress in all of Asia had I let her take the reins. Like, one bad decision after the other narrowly avoided until I’m come to be at peace with the situation.
The fact is – I’ve evolved greatly since the covid lockdowns of 2020. Like, I’m talking in ways that you can’t possibly imagine – just how far I’ve come since then.
That’s not a story for this post though. Since most of that journey has been so incredibly taboo – I’m telling it from behind my Substack’s paywall.
See, I’ve had two pressing concerns on my mind for the past few months.
Those being – how and where can I say the stuff I need to say without everyone reading it for free. That’s the biggest downfall of Onlyfans, Loyalfans, Fanvue and Scatbook … is that those platforms are for videos and photos so they let the words posted be visible to all and only the media is behind the paywall.
That’s important to me because none of those sites let me link off site – so having a way to link certain videos which are on my pCloud … well I just can’t do that on any of the platforms I’m on now. And like I said, I can’t write freely there as well.
I could take this website’s blog private by taking off the booking forms which would allow me to charge for the blog via visa, mastercard and paypall …. but … the truth of the matter is that jaa4u.com drives sessions. It’s primary goal has always been to drive sessions and even though I’m up north living in the middle of literally nowhere, that’s still what it is doing. Driving session applications.
The only difference being – for 13 years we attended to 98% of those session requests … and now I can’t even say that number is 1% as I’m the only one doing them, and the ones I do are so extreme and for so long … 1 month durations … that I can only say yes to 1% or truthfully, maybe .2% of those inquiring. Sad.
Not from failing to try. I had a whole page on this site dedicated to finding a Mistress to take over operations in Bangkok, and I even offered a $500 finders fee to any of you who could find me a girl with the intelligence to see a great business opportunity … and nothing, nada, zilch, zero interest. Not one girl in Bangkok wants to make half a million baht per month, not a single one. Blows my mind.
You know, it also speaks volumes about how ‘the scene’ or ‘the vibe’ or ‘the feel’ of Bangkok from 1990 to oh say 2010 has completely disappeared. Gone. Vanished. Replaced by whatever the fuck its selling itself as now – some lesser version of any other city in the world with the same nothingness in terms of charisma.
No doubt, would this be the year 2000, I would have easily found an ambitious girl who’d want to take over the business. But now? They’re all staring at their phones all day, the bar girls – the gogo girls – the Thermae type girls – trying to boost their online presence and getting dumb foreigners to send them money to ‘save them.’ Yuck.
How often have I complained in emails to all of you about how hard it has become to get a girl – any girl , or any ladyboy for that matter, to do a session with me?
There was a time – from 2020 to 2022 – where I could get any girl or any ladyboy to do anything I asked of them, for as long as I wanted them to work with me. Just out of sheer desperation as everybody was starving back then in the covid lockdown days, I had so many referrals, all texting me begging me, saying they’d do anything as me and Mistress Jaa were pretty much the only ones doing sessions back then.
That’s what changed me, evolved me, to this monster of a Mistress that I am now. The only way men would do sessions in the covid hysteria days was if I would cater to their most outrageous fantasies.
“Wait, you can organize 12 girls to use me at a condo party in the middle of lockdowns where not a single establishment is open in the city?”
“Yes I can, yes I can” was my answer.
I had one evening where one after the other, I had 20 girls come and shit in this one slave’s mouth for 5,000 baht a pop. I had never seen a slave drop 100,000 baht for a single fantasy before. Heck, at the time I was shocked that we were getting away with 2 hour sessions for 7,000 baht still while every other Mistress in the city was dropping prices like crazy. I mean, I remember at one point Midori had two Mistresses on offer for a 2 hour session for … I think it was something like 5,000 baht or in that ballpark … and she has a house of 4 or 5 fully equipped dungeons to boot. And here I was (stupidly) paying each girl 3,000 and pocketing only 2,000.
It was like, every 30 minutes a girl would show up right on time and plop 2k in my hand and by the end of the night in the middle of covid I was making 40,000 baht on one of those evenings.
Then word of mouth got around to all the rich submissive men that their ultimate fantasies could be played out … if they could just find a way to make it into Bangkok under all the travel restrictions that were going on at the time.
That’s when I learned that money talks as sure enough, not a lot but certainly enough of a trickle of men would find their way to the city and every month I’d have one of these outrageous sessions that would seemingly keep the business going while simultaneously feeding the mouths of girls and ladyboys who were oh so thankful for the chance to make money at a time where none was to be had.
Now, I say “seemingly” above because I was so stressed out about the whole covid situation and being locked in my condo for a whole year and a half – that I didn’t realize what was happening.
That I was changing from being a Tease & Denial Mistress to being something like an iteration of Mr. Rourke from Fantasy Island, the tv show – setting up fantasy vacations that took me out of being a Mistress and well, I guess the job title at that point would have been “Purveyor of Extreme Fantasies.”
There were weeks – I’m talking late 2022 now, where a French hotel owner would fly into town and I wouldn’t be his Mistress so much as his arranger of any fantasy he wanted to come true because I had the “little black book of contacts” that could make that happen.
So ya, that’s what I was doing from 2022-2023, just organizing this hotel room of 10 ladyboy’s who would spit roast fuck this French guy until he’d pass out from the pain of having his ass and mouth continually fucked into the wee hours of the night while I sat in a chair and laughed at him.
But like I said above, the culture of Bangkok changed in a big way from 2022 to 2024.
Arranging those sessions became harder and harder to do as covid became a distant memory and nightlife took on a whole new feel. I’ve coined it the “fuck and go” era of Bangkok, where by my estimation – 99.9% of the girls in the city were focused on working for the least amount of time possible, for as many times as possible in a single day.
“Ya? So what” a new person to the scene might be asking.
Well, long gone are the “girlfriend experience” days, replaced by girls streaming on Tik Tok and Instagram’s reels – and Telegram became a thing – and any app where girls could play with their hair and stream live while at the bar getting guys to send them money to rescue them.
“Huh?”
Well, when I started out as a Mistress, I could still take a slave out for dinner after a late session to a street vendor on Sukhumvit around Nana 0r take him to Cheap Charlie’s or take him to the live music and eatery dive where I used to live at the corner of On Nut station. In fact, that’s where I’d go most often. I’d take take many of you to the ‘little tent city’ that existed at the foot of the stairs at exit 3 at On Nut station and we’d get food from any of the 100 vendors there and sit and listen to open air live music until 1 or 2am. Just having a good time, remember?
One thing I always prided myself on was not just doing a 1 hour or 2 hour session and pushing the slave out the door. I mean, ya, there were times where I’d finish a 7-9pm session and have to rush to get ready for the 10-midnight session, but there were many times where a two hour session would become a great evening of fun.
I’m not talking about sex, I never fucked any of my slaves. I’m talking about just going out and sucking in the vibe that was Bangkok back in the day and there were so many places to do that. Like, those of you who have been reading my Scatbook posts with great fascination -as that’s the place where I’ve been laying it all out in shocking detail – you know of the secret ladyboy hair salon that existed almost where one could walk down soi 7 … or you could access it from the now defunct little back alley walkway that went from soi 7 to soi 5 … where there was a great Donair open air eatery that I took everybody to.
Anyways, that secret shop is now a fucking McDonalds … and that says all you need to know about what’s happened to the vibe Bangkok used to have. It’s gone. See ya. Buh bye.
Now its just a life less shadow of its former self, and those of you who know what I’m talking about – you know.
So no. I’m not sad at all any longer about not being located in Bangkok.
I think that played a small part as well – now that I think about it – of what happened to me at the end of 2023.
I mean, there were so many things that contributed to my breakdown, but maybe perhaps me holding on in my heart to what my part of Bangkok – the On Nut part used to be and not seeing it for what it was turning into.
When they started putting in the facial recognition cameras at On Nut, both in the BTS and then downstairs where the motorcycle taxis are … oh and then seeing the police presence at more than one station, both inside the station and in the skywalk … where many times the client I was with got stopped for no reason whatsoever. Just pure bullshit. I also had to be aware for my client’s safety when walking anywhere between Nana and Phrom Phong as well – to always be on the lookout for the gold helmet double person motorcycles that were basically harassment cops … looking to shake down foreigners at random. The word probably cause doesn’t exist in the city any longer.
I think what did it for me, the final straw, was coming home from a session at about 6pm – it was definitely an afternoon session and it was one where I was carrying my dismantled Toilet feeding chair in a back Santa Clause like bag flung over my shoulder. I was about to walk down the stairs to where the motorcycle taxis take me home and lined up there were about 40 soldiers with machine guns in their hands and I was like “what … the … actual …. fuck … is … .this?”
Like, first the facial recognition cameras, then the unnecessary presence of cops in the stations and now fucking army guys with guns on the corner of my street? Ya, fuck that.
And there I was holding this un-dismantled chair that I had just used to feed shit to my client … I couldn’t be fucked taking the thing apart at PB Hotel because the room smelled like poop so I had just thrown the chair in my bag and was hauling it home.
I don’t need intimidation like that in my life. I’m sure that in 5 years time there will be AI robotic cop dogs patrolling the streets there, mark my words. Yup, the words of a paranoid Mistress who suffers from anxiety attacks … geez golly gosh … I wonder what could possibly be causing those, eh? I wonder.
Look, I’ve functioned as not just a Mistress, something wholly taboo to begin with, but as probably THE most extreme Mistress in all of Asia no doubt … well, recently at least. I mean, when they showed 50 Shades of Grey in the theaters here, I went to see it with a 60 year old client and he as well as every other person in line got asked to present their ID. Oh it’s ME who’s paranoid about things? lmao. Ya right.
So please excuse the fact that I ply my trade just as I’ve always plied it … by tiptoeing through the cracks, unseen and unheard. Until of course one comes across 50 soldiers ready for war in peacetime on a lazy Sunday afternoon in the city … and I have a shit feeding chair that would fill Santa’s bag of toys easily.
Ya, fuck Bangkok. 1984 the book – its becoming real, right before our eyes and nobody’s saying anything about it.
I was initially ever so happy to get in contact with one of the ladyboys who used to operate the secret hair salon at the corner of soi 5 … the very same one I used to take a few bravest of the brave submissive men to get absolutely drilled mercilessly for about an 8,000 baht tip back then. Only to find that that same service … one that I fucking grew and made popular for them … is now 10,000 baht per ladyboy and … get this … they only want to work for a maximum of 30 minutes doing the same thing they used to do for 2 hours for only 8k!
“Fuck & Go” , the 2024 trend right there, see that?
<– This is just one conversation from my Instagram chat … I have a handful I could show you. I can tell you this … not one single person enjoyed their trip to Bangkok this past year and that’s from a sample size of about 100 people messaging me, not only there but on WhatsApp, Line, email … the whole nine yards.
And this is what has been holding me back, or holding back my happiness for all of 2024. I feel like I should be back in Bangkok, I feel like it’s a responsibility to the business I now run, jaa4u.com has been one of THE go to sites for femdom experiences since 2012.
Thus the point of this blog story, my realization that I’m a “destination Mistress” now, in that – those who want to seek me out, they will come to me …. so I’m basically Darth Vader realizing after being told by The Emperor that Luke will seek him out …
It’s definitely an “oh snap” moment for me lol.
I’m also having another Star Wars moment running through my head … in my never-ending attempt to make sense of this life path that has taken me so far away from the city I dominated in for so long … and that line is …
As it should always be.
Chaing Rai is the future.
My private femdom resort is the future.
This is the way 🙂
Mistress Wael