Fanvue written thoughts from today. I’ve been all over the place with my health the past three days and the first ten days of February haven’t been anywhere near as productive as I’d have liked them to be.
But I managed to sleep for most of the past 48 hours and I’m feeling better – though it is 3am as I write this long post … I started at midnight. So I’ve pasted the 3,000 words that I wrote on FanVue earlier tonight down below and now as sort of a prologue to the post I’m adding to it at the top here. Sometimes when I write – to get myself in the mood to do it because it takes up 8-12 hours in a row of my time – I just start talking about anything to get me going. So below, you’ll see me talking about the stock and forex trades I made this week – trying to keep my streak of 27 straight winning trades and 84 out of the past 100 alive and well.
But I know that the only people who are transfixed by me writing about my trades are my Fanvue followers as we have long talks in chat every day over there and the less than 10 subscribers I have are my closest friends, it’s the tight knit community that I’ve longed to have and I hope it grows over time. It’s the only place that leaves me alone – its why I’m there so much. Loyalfans has all these petty rules and Onlyfans is 100 times worse – those sites are soon be extinct dinosaurs in my opinion as FanVue is on the right track with using AI for its creators to help me out. It’s just a shame that all the other girls on that site are ass shakers and titty jigglers – which is in direct contrast to the more intellectually slanted content I provide.
Anyways, I’ve said it many times – if you happen to be one of the few people who genuinely like what I write and understand where I’m going with this – and where my life is leading me … and you want to talk to me about things … then know that FanVue is where I have chosen to hang out and talk to my friends. It’s the only place – other than email, that I talk to my followers, clients and friends.
Scatbook is where – if you’re okay to be anywhere from slightly to greatly appalled by what I’ve been up to in terms of just how far down the rabbit hole I’ve taken female domination lately – you can find my deepest and quite disturbing thought process. Though, I can’t spend hours a day talking to all my subscribers there about the most depraved forms of submission – I’d go crazy if I entertained every person’s thought in great detail. So read -if you dare, but I won’t be chatting to you about any of the things I’m doing.
Most of it – errr, well more accurately 40% of the comments are of the “what you’re doing to people is wrong – just wrong” crowd and I don’t have time for them. You either get me – or you don’t. You’re the type of submissive person who is looking for absolute and total submission – to the point of becoming an object and nothing more … like – taking the “man” out of the word “human” is what you’re into …. or quite simply, you’re not willing to go that deep. That’s fine. Nobody can cater to every single person out there.
I just happen to prefer making 1/2 a million baht per month rather than focusing on 7k per hour.
Like for me, yes – 7k for a one-hour session – I can find one or two of those sessions every single day if I wanted to. And ya, the money piles up as the month goes on but I guess I just enjoy more than seeing the 450,000 baht deposit come in and get to work on arranging the month with that one lump sum of money. Because that has allowed me to hire Patty the ladyboy and entice a younger sexy girl to come and be trained … which will allow in June for me to host two slaves per month at the femdom house rather than just one, so 1 million baht per month.
It’s just a better business model than what I had been doing for the past eleven years.
I got the model from the pay-to-win MMRPG games I’ve been interested in but originally detested their business model. I was always a “$15/month World of Warcraft” kind of girl – which for me is akin to the 7,000 baht per session model.
But those pay-to-win games let everybody pay for free – however if you want to win, you pay $20,000 for the legendary fire sword that kills anything and everything in one shot … unless you’ve paid for the $30,000 usd armor that protects you from the legendary fire sword and so on.
So yes, jaa4u.com is free – was free. But the best blog stories from my books are behind the $5.99 Patreon wall , and the very best sessions aren’t 1 hour mini dives into femdom but the one month “you won’t survive what I have in store for you” 1/2 million baht sessions. I’m pay to win – that’s my business model now.
And I can do that because I’m the very best at this super narrow niche that I’ve fallen into as a Mistress. One that – as you’ll read below – was born out of total accident, brought about by the covid lockdowns. I just found that – again by total accident – that catering to the deepest, most dangerous, most thorough types of submission is far mor lucrative than catering to the one hour shallow but fun & quaint types of sessions I had been doing since 2014.
I don’t want to get repetitive as I’ve talked about it in the pasted content down below … but for a 2 year period in Bangkok, because so many girls and ladyboys were so desperate for money that they’d consent to doing anything and everything – even if it meant an all night session, my path as a Mistress took a permanent diversion down the road of the perverse.
When Bangkok returned to normal, I had to create my own little world where such sessions could continue on and that’s what I’ve done with the building of my private femdom house and these 1-month extreme human toilet slavery sessions.
Which as some of you have read on Scatbook, have extended into being nothing more than a piece of human furniture – not allowed to move a muscle for a month as I turn you into an object … and fuck, the applications for just doing that for me is already long enough that I could book ahead deep into 2026.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I could double the 450,000 baht price tag for these experiences and the demand would still be there, but that’s not my goal.
It’s never been about the money – it’s always been about providing the very best and most unique femdom experience that can be found on this side of the world. Anyone who’s had a session with me knows this.
Anyways, I’ve rambled too much – there’s 3,000 words below this for crying out loud. I have nights where I just write like this and even then it’s still not enough. It’s but a sliver of the thoughts on femdom that go through my mind every day.
It’s why I linked jaa4u.com to Patreon because my thoughts on femdom and where I’m going with this are so “out there” that it’s better to keep the deepest thoughts on the matter behind a paywall. Just to be safe.
Or better put … the sessions I’ve done and the thoughts I’ve had on them from 2020-2024 are all NSFW.
As of 2025 they’re now NSFAAA or not-safe-for-anywhere-at-all … and most certainly not for the general public.
Want to see how far Alice’s rabbit hole goes? Start by doing some back-reading in this order:
and in much shorter posts Loyalfans and Onlyfans – only because they censor things quite heavily where Fanvue and Scatbook don’t so I’m able to write freely on those sites.
Here now is the rest of what I had written earlier this evening on Fanvue:
A video store ad from 2020 , the sales from which helped us survive covid
It took a week, but once again, say it with me … “gaps get filled.” And once again, right to the penny. Would it be that people had the patience to only trade this fact and wait for the handful of times each year that it happens, there would be a lot of people with a 100% win-rate on their trades. The other trade that, with patience, has nearly a 100% win-rate is to buy the .vix when it dips below $13, buying it as close to $12 as possible. Again, it’s another once or twice per year trade. And even then, most of the time the trade has to be held for one to three months before it takes off into the $20-$30 area.
The third trading method as I told you last week is to fish for forex stop loss raids by hedge funds. Which is like deep-sea fishing where you sit in a boat all day and get 0 bites – and you do that all year long … until one day, while nodding off in the boat out of total boredom you get a shark on the line. Then you reel it in and eat merrily for a year. So I made $100 with my 10 Nvidia shares lol. Yes I know, I’m a big time girl trader. lol But I’m 3/3 this year on trades and now 27/27 going back to 2024. I don’t count 2023 from June-December as I wasn’t in a good place mentally so every single thing I did back then was erratic and spontaneous. If I go back to covid, so 2020 onwards, I’m near perfect on every trade. But the sad thing is that if I had the ability to hold all my positions – which technically I do if I don’t mind paying thousands of dollars in interest fees every year – geez I’d be so rich.
I had – and I can screenshot it and show you if you like – a 200 share purchase of META when it was $90/share, and my biggest trade ever which made my heart actually hurt from how fast the account moved – a .2 lot purchase of Bitcoin when it sank to $16,000. Add AFRM – 200 shares at $12 , MARA 200 shares at somewhere around $7 and so many more. But I can’t buy and hold like everybody else can, sadly. So I have come to grips with that and only trade gaps-get-filled with forex hedge fund raid fishing and if I am buying and holding then it is the .vix because I know the spike when it rises will probably recover all of the interest fees. Sucks so much to be born here.
Again though, even though its not a Forex hedge fund raid – notice the stop loss wipeout before it goes up? I was a) too woozy the last two days to even notice and b) my 10 shares allow me to not have to have such a tight stop loss – mine is way down at the next line of support so far off the page. That’s the benefit of not having any money lol, my small positions let me ride the trade and learn from all the silliness that goes on. It was during covid when I needed to win every trade to have money to live on that I would wait and wait and wait some more for the panic to become so pure that I could step in with my 20 shares and make $100 to $200 every month which paid for my food.
As long as I live, I will never forget those 3-5 hour walks around my condo at night, feeling like I was walking in the middle of an apocalyptic event – wondering how I was going to keep my family alive. That’s the thing that makes me so sad, you know that? I am not exaggerating even one bit when I say that if it was not for me and all the things I did to pull rabbits from my ass between 2020 and 2022, my family wouldn’t be here. Like, it started with me making a video sales link on jaa4u.com and putting up for sale all my old and very awful videos – for like $20 for a collection. Do any of you remember when I did that? Hang on, let me find it for you.
Ya here’s one of the first ads I ever edited, in fact I think it was the very first one and I had to do it out of an emergency with the lockdowns having just begun.
I used ai to erase two obvious words because two of my other blogs have like censorship cops everywhere.
Again, this is why FanVue is so good – there’s no censorship here and I can link anything and everything so I say what I want to say all day long.
But ya, there were all these random videos that were awful – blurry and shot with old phones, shaky , bad lighting, hand held.
I thought well – let me just put them all into categories and see if people will buy them since we’re all locked at home everywhere in the world anyways.
Sadly, since I had to combine them with Jaa’s videos I had to split the money with her … typical because every money making idea ever on jaa4u.com was my idea, and anyone with the name Jaa just sat back and collected the money from my life saving ideas.
Then when people started buying those crappy videos – which was all I had at the time it clicked that because lockdowns might go on for a very long time and videos sell – that might be the way to survive.
That was the year I learned how evil play plal is – without the first two L’s … and I’m only typing it that way so I can copy and paste this story to the other blogs where they’ll surely censor that word.
Lockdowns started in April and I remember just before my birthday in August getting a nasty letter from them saying they were seizing my money and shutting down the account – but that I’d get my money back 9 months down the road.
But as panicked as that made me at the time – it was a blessing in disguise because from April to July I had squeezed all the sales I was going to get from those crappy videos and I had started my new job as a video content creator on all the online platforms.
Which means that revenue was coming in not from playplal but from the other blogs , both mine and hers – I was running both.
Yes, both. I’m telling you – she did nothing, absolutely nothing but reluc-tant-ly (also for copy/paste purposes) film every 3rd day. Fine by me, I made money from all of my subscribers of which there were so few and 1/2 of hers … and because so many men were blinded by her at the time it was more than enough to turn the calendar to 2021 and still be in the green.
Then in late April of 2021 the funds that had been seized were finally released into my bank account and that was like over $1,500 and ya – looking back at the calendar, April’s revenue was $2,000 from our online presence so suddenly I had nearly $4,000 which I knew would get me safely into 2022.
Remember, at the time – every last penny that I didn’t need to survive in bkk I was sending home to feed my daughters, my mom, my dad my sister and her daughter.
Then – and I’ll keep this for Patreon as it’s sensitive, ghastly and highly immoral – another injection of usd $6,000 came in near the end of 2021 which cleared the way for me to survive to April of 2022.
Around then, that’s when with super strict rules – the first set of people were allowed to travel once again and its when my vip client from France took advantage of the unique situation where no bar girl in the city had money and would do anything to survive for a day.
I got emails from him asking me to line up 10 sexy bar girls and 10 ladyboys for an evening of fun where I’d order the girls to fuck him one by one and then order the ladyboy’s to fuck his ass one by one after he was totally exhausted.
That led to things like me taking over the services of an entire ladyboy club and having him and … ok I’ll nicely say 2 other “clients” – but the truth I’ll put on Patreon – suck every single ladyboy working there – about 40 of them. One after other.
I kept thinking of Dr. Hammond from Jurassic Park and his line “spared no expense” because him spending 50k baht to 100k baht a night was a common thing.
And that’s how I survived covid. For once it got out on the forums that I was THE contact for arranging any fantasy you can possibly think of – and seriously I have to dedicate an entire book to just those wild sessions as they’d make your jaw hit the floor … I became super famous, especially in places like Dubai and Saudi Arabia.
It was a unique time where everybody was so broke that they were texting me , en-masse every night begging to be included in one of those sessions and each one giving me a list of her friends with photos included so I could pick and choose the lineup each night.
It was never one on one, it was no less than 3 and up to 50 girls / ladyboys a night.
But I still remember quite vividly, walking around my condo in April of 2020 to the sound of silence – absolute silence … and this was at 7pm … thinking this might be it, the end of my time on earth.
To go from thoughts of sure starvation to basically defining the word exploitation just 700 days later, just wow.
This is definitely the tl:dr version where I’m just skimming over things.
I’ll tell you one thing though, my life from 2020 until today has been anything but boring.
And that’s maybe why I’ve been feeling restless lately. No, I’m not talking about my fight with the lingering side-effects of this Haloperidol that I’m learning how to ween myself off … I mean general restlessness from nothing happening living up here in the middle of nowhere.
There are some days where I’m okay with it and yet there are others where I feel like I might as well just move myself into a retirement home. Well, we don’t have any of those, but if we did – that’d be a similar feel to how I feel now.
If I zoom out from my life and look at it from a far, I think this is a 2-3 year step back from the business and day-to-day life of being a Mistress.
In the end that’s what I think this will end up being. I’ve had ever increasing thoughts on the days I’ve felt well that sometime in 2026 I may return to Bangkok and much to the chagrin of every Mistress and club in Bangkok – take back the tittle of being the most popular femdom Mistress in the city, in Asia and in the southern hemisphere.
I know it’s not like me to say that. But it is how I feel, especially lately.
Do you want to know the exact moment I clued on the fact that Jaa and I are the very best at what we do? I’ll tell you.
Had a client – it was Jaa’s client actually, I’m talking original Jaa’s so we’re going back a while. The guy wanted a dungeon and it was one of our long-time vip clients so we all had two options. To ask Thomas – original Jaa’s old client who’s done everything he can to try and get a foothold in the business – even building his own dungeon in his house out by Punnawiti bts station … and yet the dungeon sits empty. Heh, he even tried to write blog stories on his website … but were so obviously written by a man that , well , men just know when something is written by a guy. Anyways, I didn’t want to give him a toe-hold in the business by doing a session at his dungeon.
So we decided – just this once – to use Midori’s dungeon. Her business model and ours couldn’t be more different so we had never used her place as none of our clients need a dungeon … we operate on a much higher level appealing to those who want a total brain fuckery experience and not to be tied to machines.
So in one of those super rare occasions where the three of us did a session together, we did this one particular session at that dungeon and it was such an eye opener.
Back then, I was very much an observer and even now that’s what I do – I sit back and observe people , taking mental notes. I learn by watching other people and other people’s reactions and then improving upon what they’ve done. It’s how I learned to cook and quickly become a sous-chef as my foods were always head and shoulders above what anyone else could prepare.
Back then, I had to use tools that allowed me to not speak as my English was at the most basic of levels and so in my early days as a Mistress I had taken to YouTube to learn Shibari rope bondage techniques doing them over and over both on myself and on our ladyboy Natty – as we were usually left behind with no sessions while both Jaa’s were tag-teaming clients every night.
Since we had never used a dungeon before – and that includes original Jaa and her five years on the job – it was me, the least experienced who stepped forward to tie the slave up with one of my most beautiful patterns that left him wearing all my rope as a replacement for clothing – that’s how much I used.
He could stand, but he couldn’t move a muscle. With my now patented move of leading him with one finger under his chin around the dungeon I set him up tilted on a 45 degree angle leaning away from the wall towards the ground , his arms chest and hips secured to the wall … and I left him there for the other two to take over.
Anyways, the point is – that night, every one of her Mistress’s were watching in awe, absolute awe of how to conduct a session so naturally, so elegantly, with such absolute command that. I turned to Natty, sitting beside me and said in Thai “we’re going to give them a seminar – and we’re not even gonna charge them.”
I don’t pay attention to sports, heck I don’t even watch hockey any longer – I only did that to have something I could talk to my clients about, but I think I have to use a sports analogy to describe how I feel inside my heart right now.
Me walking away from the bdsm/femdom scene in Bangkok would be like Michael Jordan walking away from basketball when he was at his best. It’s not right. It’s not the right thing to do.
But here’s what I know, and I don’t give a fuck if my family doesn’t believe it – and no doubt they’ll probably have me locked up in a mental hospital before I can prove it – but the truth of the matter is that on the last week of this calendar year – just before the payments come due on the land and the student loan – I’m going to pay them off in full.
In that same week, I’m going to convert my home and the entire property to solar power.
Come the last day of this year, I will have not only zero debt in my life for now and going forward but I will have no bills to pay other than the internet.
And in 2026, if they haven’t put me in a mental hospital – which again they will very likely try to do – my sole purpose will be to incorporate, build up money in the bank account – and cross out each and every reason that an embassy can use to deny me a visa.
Then maybe from 2027- whenever I’m going to be a Mistress who travels the world, seeing clients anywhere they want.
By then both daughters will have graduated and / or will be in their last year of study and I won’t be sending them any more money at that point … either learn to fly or die is my point of view on the matter, my job raising them is almost done.
And when I’m free – I’m going to be really free. I suspect sometime in those 2-3 years, so I’m talking 2027-2030 my parents and my sister will reach the end of their time here on earth and I’ll own all this property – clear of debt, but I won’t be here much as I intend to see the world in my late 40’s and into my early 50’s.
Fuck I’ve earned it, no?
So why not just pay it off now, good question right? It’s a test. It’s my test to them to see how far they’ll go with this plot to have me locked up and declared mentally crippled to have the liens on the land forgiven.
Because if they do that – if they go that far, then I will abandon my family, disown them all and never talk to any of them again until the day I die. Not only that, but if released – I won’t live here ever again. I mean it.
If that means I have to travel perpetually, then so be it. I’m never returning.
I think – ya, there’s no way any of you could understand why I feel this way. I’ve been fucked with so much the past two years that it’s just my nature – it’s how I deal with things to let whatever happen – happen …and walk away from all the mean people in my life.
And not just mean, but at this point – its more about untrusting. Like, if my sacrifice of living in Bangkok for 15 years and never seeing my daughters just so I can take care of my family isn’t enough proof that I’m reliable, then ok, you can grow up alone and cease to know of my existence.
It’s kind of like Game of Thrones – “and now her watch has ended.” , well, if they had allowed girls on the wall.
My watch has almost ended.
The dark days are behind me, that was 2023 and early 2024. This is kind of like limbo for me. I’m biding my time.
2025 and 2026 don’t really exist in my mind, they are simply 700 days to trudge through.
My new life begins in 2027. Will I have a few more grey hairs at that time? Ya, for sure.
But I’d make a heck of a travelling companion I think. Ever travelled with one of the best Mistresses in the world?
I’ll bet you the market for that is unlimited. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
