That “je ne sais quois” , we both have it. Mistress Wael is incredibly, absolutely, extremely, supremely, unbelievably different than the creature of femdom I have become. In trying to explain just why exactly that is to a gentleman who partook of Wael’s style last night , I found myself calling her here from school just to discuss why she thinks I’m so hardcore. This is the email that set off my deep train of thought: John James 9:18 AM (1 hour ago) to me I went to see Wael last night, it was amazing! I had a great time. She told me that you are harder? do you do it harder? I go back to England in 5 weeks. …
Nah it’s not that bad (living in a poor country). I live on the American Embassy compound with a pool, gym, bar, tennis court etc. My co-worker and I are members of the American club which has even better facilities and there are some nice pockets in these places with cool restaurants and stuff. I think you might enjoy this lifestyle. I know you have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and learning and I know you are interested in people. In a different life or maybe even in this life, if you wanted, I reckon you would make a great anthropologist! You said you would be miserable living somewhere poor like this but I think you underestimate yourself. Living in these …
I had an epiphany last week. It occurred while I was watching the latest Resident Evil movie. I spend 2 hours each and every day pretty much sitting in a movie theater watching a movie that I absolutely hate because watching it makes me stupid. Hollywood thinks I am an idiot. It’s as if the day after Roger Ebert died the entire movie industry let out a huge sigh of relief and said, finally we can make movies as dumbed down as we want. The movies now are so fucking bad that it makes me sick to my stomach to have to sit through one of them. At one point in Resident Evil I stopped watching the movie to do two …
“How?” I said , can I be glad and sad – but a person goes from one foot to the other. Christmas, that lonely, lovely crowded place in our heads. At Christmas, some of us hunger for a larger family life than perhaps we had. We were a family of three, we could never afford a holiday feast let alone a gift. But I had dreams , even living in a country where Christmas is only an un-celebrated day off , the books I had read always made me dream of friends , Santa , and gifts under a pine tree. Thank you dreams. You are the large family which comforts. It doesn’t have to be typical. Just as I …
If you live here , you’re a stereotypical expat no matter how much you claim not to be – and as such Thai girls will avoid you like the plague. I just read a charming introductory email from an expat smartly titled Pawn to Queen 4 – who does his best to claim he’s not typical of the kind that reside here in Bangkok : Pawn to Queen 4 Hi Mistress, Hope life is wonderful for you. My name is xxxx, I am xx years old and I live and work in Bangkok. Yes I could potentially be categorized as a ‘long time Bangkok’ resident. All I can say in my defense here is that I don’t believe that …
I had one of those exquisite moments where my mind linked meaning in two videos separated by a generation of time , and I was perfectly proud of myself for making the connection. I was having one of those wonderful information quests on the internet that takes you down unexpected paths and usually lands me on a webpage that makes me gasp “how the fuck did I end up here?” As I’m a movie aficionado my night started off as it usually does, perusing the upcoming movie trailers page on IMDB ‘s website where I was looking for something similar to WestWorld , a show that I desperately want to watch but isn’t available yet at any of my bootlegged …
“Good Morning, it’s 7am , in conformity , there lays bliss.” Having lived in the city over the past five years , the past two in my quite luxurious condo , I hadn’t been jolted from my sleep by the blaring of the speakers that permeate the village where I grew up for quite some time. Yet there it was, 7am right to the very second , the brain washing diatribe on my senses had begun each morning last week from the house where I grew up. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what goes on in every village across the land here , seven o’clock in the morning brings with it thirty minutes of community news being blared out …
Among my accomplishments so far this year, I’ve climbed to 11,000 feet , bungee jumped , swam with sharks, put in over 500 hours of Muay Thai training , embarked on learning German and am half way through writing my first novel. All great, but as I climb this mountain that I referenced nobody told me that I’d hit the wall at learning how to parallel park. On that list of great achievements this year is supposed to be “I got my driver’s licence” but to me it’s starting to look like brain surgery would be an easier thing to try and learn. So much so that I’ve added Parallel Parking as the second great mystery of life, the first …
I acknowledge that I can be a bit of a cunt from time to time when answering emails , but if you were forced to read half the dribble that comes out of men’s minds which I am forced to read, well, I’m sure you would cut me some slack. Today, or tonight rather , see – I’m tired as fuck … I’ve been learning to drive all day and tomorrow – knock on wood – I finally get my drivers licence and thus can cross off another thing from my list of “things I need to accomplish before I’m 30”. Winning the Nobel Peace Award for writing is on that list as well so I better get my ass …
Hate is such a vicious vile word , with sheer wanton maliciousness behind every instance it is spoken. Thus, it must be used not liberally, but instead preciously saved for a deserved target of one’s venom. In my life, there has been no greater thing that commands me to use the word Hate as its descriptor than that of the word School and all the maladies that word encompasses. I was recently asked in an email “how can your English be so good , you’re Thai.” He took the philosophical pretense of “I speak, therefore I am” , flipped it on it’s head so it would become “I’m Thai, therefore I am not.” I hate that. Thing is , he’s …
