Who am I then? That’s the modern translation of “What dost thou know me for?” , from Act 2 Scene 2 of Shakespeare’s King Lear. It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for three consecutive days upon my return from Switzerland. Am I any of Kent’s reply to Oswald … KENT: You’re a lowlife, a rascal who eats leftover scraps. You’re an ignoble, arrogant, shallow, vulgar, pretentious, conceited, filthy third-rate servant who thinks he’s something special. You’re a cowardly lawyer-loving bastard; a vain, brown-nosing, prissy scoundrel who’d pimp himself out to advance his career; a bag lady. You’re nothing but a lowlife, a beggar, a coward, and a pimp, the son and heir of a mutt bitch. I’ll beat you …
Hello. It’s been a while since I’ve written about things going on in my life so I’m going to outline a few things that are going on as my Twitter posts are creating rabid speculation about what changes are in the wind. December is vacation month for Wael and I but we will be staggering our time off so that there will always be somebody her to do sessions. Basically , without going into much detail , before Christmas you can see either of us on most days , and just before Santa arrives you’ll be seeing Wael exclusively until mid January as I have some things I need to sort out in my life. With that in mind, I’m …
Come on girl, tell us what you REALLY think !! … with regards to my time spent in Europe. A great many of you have emailed me this week trying to squeeze a bit more juice out of the lemon, apparently I didn’t talk enough about my true feelings about my summer in Europe. So many of you are from Europe so it’s understandable why you’re all so curious as to what a foreign Mistress thought about your homeland. Frankly , I bite my tongue a whole hell of a lot when I write for this blog. If you’ve been reading between the lines in the stories categorized under My Opinion , then you no doubt know that my …
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. “Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion” … my parallel experience of such a spectacle while I was in Europe would be feeling ice melt through my fingers as I stood upon a Glacier in Norway. I had never seen nor held snow in my hands before that moment , to experience it not from a snowflake but from a glacier was majestic. ” I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.” I sat high atop a mountain with my feet perilously dangling over a cliff watching raindrops glitter in the sun as they cascaded downward upon the trees far below … that was my Tannhäuser Gate moment. There were …
As life ebbs , terrible vistas of emptiness reveal themselves. Indefatigable purpose sees me through this abyss like a droning lighthouse beam beckoning the way through a persistent perilous fog. A single slice of cake sits before me in this food court as hollow as the midnight sea, bereft of character , as befitting as anything in this dull country of disillusionment. Hark the herald angels sing , glory to …. me , I’ll soon be leaving. So I close my eyes and make a wish upon my cumpleaños , a one way ticket out of this place for hell is empty – all the devils are here. I’m an angel among these diseased degenerates, their putrid stench clings …
Live alone, cry alone. I have all these one paragraph attempts at recalling the sexiest sessions of the week but honestly I just can’t put pen to paper right now … or “finger to keyboard” which is more true but doesn’t sound as romantic. I feel like one of those Charlie Brown comic strips where he’s got a storm captioned above his head or maybe just the word “sigh” with a contorted look on his face. My stomach hurts so much from worry that I literally cannot stand up straight to walk from my sofa here to the bathroom, I instead look like a hunched over grandmother of 90 years old trying to make the ten meter walk. Instead of …
Dawn has yet to break and rather than the quiet serenity that befells my condo at this early hour , there is an ominous weight in the air as the minutes feel like hours as they pass while I sit and wait for the scariest day of my life to unfold. It’s been a week of reflection for me. Reflection on the thing that matters the most : life itself. Close friends of mine have always had a good laugh at the cows I paid for to save their lives when they were sick , and the ostriches I’ve saved , the baby birds I’ve nurtured that were found behind my house when I was young. The common thread through …
The question is : What are some good tips on how to be a good mistress for my boyfriend / husband ? The answer in general is : There are none. My elaboration on the reply draws upon a unique experience I had at one of my few jiu jitsu classes ( I later discovered I enjoyed Muay Thai much more ) where there is a parallel between the black belt on the mat and the mindset of being a mistress. It was my third class … I know because I only attended four before I came to the conclusion that grabbing a guy by his nuts is equally effective as any technique I’d be learning on the mats. At …
The Walking Dead Season 7 has convinced me that we as a society have not taken the proper measures to ensure all the smart people in the world have been getting laid and pro creating since the turn of the century. That’s right. Since about the mid 1990’s people like Steven King , Arthur C. Clark , Stanley Kubrick ; and all other writers of the same quality died without any girls making sure they produced offspring. Well Steven’s not dead but he’s a Red Sox fan so I hold out no hope for his children to have the willpower to write. (yes i realize that doesn’t make much sense but I’m writing this while hungry and munching on broccoli so …
How can one learn Thai in 20 minutes , really? Well , because the guy who created the language was the same guy who named our capital city after what us girls love to do with a hot guy after a few drinks. No, I jest. The reason is , if you can get yourself to think like you’re so remarkably stoned – to the point where you can barely put together 20 words of the language you speak – then that’s all you need to be fluent in Thai. And I can get you there in 20 minutes. No not by feeding you mushroom cookies like they’re M&M’s , but by comparing how easy Thai is to this unnecessarily …
