“Aren’t you going to give me a shot to knock me out before you cut me open? “No. Don’t need.” (2 minutes later) “need. need.” (repeat times 12) “It’s ok. 19 more to go.” the doctor says with the wry humour of a dead puppy. My eyes roll back as he makes the next incision and the knife introduces me to pain like a shot of Tabasco sauce to the back of the throat. I gasp, a little, and then make the mistake of looking down toward my pelvis to see my skin sliced open an inch deep. And then, darkness, black like the night. Only to wake up , perhaps a moment later, perhaps longer (?) with vision blurred …
One of the consequences of being born very premature is having to battle a lifetime of medical ailments , but a second and more cerebral ailment is living with the constant feeling that the world never intended for us to stick around , which are feelings both Wael and I share. As I posted on Twitter today, once again I’m going under the knife come September 1st and I’ve told my surgeon that I want all of these maladies removed in a single session , to which he remarked that I’d be in quite some discomfort for the first 10 days following the procedure. Thus, I’m not doing sessions until let’s say about the 12th of September, so keep that …
This naturally beautiful girl I met while hiking in Sri Lanka had these gorgeous eyes that held in a single instant both sadness and hope. I saw in her eyes those of my own when I was her age , where there seemed to be no hope of a better life and yet – I knew if I was a bit entrepreneurial in my ways that it might be possible to find an escape. So I gave her quite a handsome tip and a kiss on the cheek , told her to keep the flowers to sell to somebody else and it seemed like for a brief moment we connected as we looked in silence into each others eyes. I …
I boarded the plane for the flight home from Sri Lanka in a surly mood , one which dove a few levels deeper when truly – the second coming of John Candy from his Planes, Trains and Automobiles movie checked his ticket twice and confirmed with a smug smile that the aisle seat beside me was indeed his for the next few hours. My forehead pressed even tighter against the window as I looked out it in such a forlorn way , unamused by the luggage handlers throwing bags onto the plane’s cargo area down below like they were hurling dead body bags into a grave. ‘Fuck my life’ I thought I said in my mind but apparently not. “Why?” …
I can’t put my finger on what it is , but here on my 31st birthday what I can say definitively is that I’ve never felt so far removed from the path of life I thought I was on, and that’s made me more depressed than I’ve ever felt before in my life. What I do know is that this is the most fit I’ve ever been , having done two hours every day with my personal trainer for well over a year now , and subsequently this is the hottest I’ve ever looked. Which in turn means that my sessions, because they’re based on harnessing the natural desires in men when aroused , are as good as they’ve ever …
Since 60% of marriages end in a financially devastating divorce , from which both parties cannot ever recover financially in time for their retirement , I often wonder why this archaic human ritual persists to this day? If you were asked to volunteer for a trip on an airplane, wherein you knew in advance that you’d be forced to jump out of once it reached maximum altitude , but that 60% of the parachutes would malfunction and those people would plummet to their death … how many people would agree to sign up for the experience? 0%. Nobody would be so stupid , and yet – 80% of the population volunteer for the broken parachute known as marriage. Why do …
Truth be told, I’m fucking exhausted from writing my Kindle book and have neither the patience nor the mental acuity to construct a properly thought out story at the moment. I’ve put in back to back ten hour writing sessions and have two chapters done so progress is being made. It’ll be published by the end of the month. So instead, I’m just going to write off the top of my head, most of my thoughts will come from emails I answered today – but I’ll have to rewrite them here for the blog so they come across as a more toned down version of what I had to say privately. So whats first. It’s a hell of a thing …
The older I get, the less I care. I put that in my Facebook today. It’s a lie. I’m going to tell you the most bastardy thing about this job as a Mistress , which is : It makes me care very deeply about people I shouldn’t care about , because when worst comes to worst , I cannot contact them. Let me tell you what’s going on right now in my little insignificant world. Yesterday after a late night session I was doing the laundry as I always do and was carrying this big beige laundry basket back to my condo from the elevator. I set it down on the kitchen counter rather than taking it straight to my …
Dave just left my condo from our first date. He thought it was a date, in reality it was just an experiment of mine. Lately, these “mistress’s boyfriend for a day” sessions have been so amazing that I’ve started to wonder if the crazy suggestive techniques I use on my submissive harem of men would work equally well on a stranger who has no idea that I’m a Mistress – one talented in the art of Seduction. So I thought it would be interesting for you guys to peek into my mind and relive with me what just went down over the past five hours on my “date.” It’ll give you a glimpse I suppose at how my mind works, …
I haven’t been hiding the fact I’ve been pretty damn lonely since returning back from Europe in January, to the point where I’ve found myself doing something I’ve never done as a mistress at any point in the last five years which is inviting somebody to stay longer. It wasn’t something I even planned to do , I just spontaneously blurted out after a rather nice session “if you liked it so much, why not stay and let me show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” I suppose I just wanted company, the lonely side of my brain would justify such a request as being such. But there’s been a growing devilish part of my personality that’s fully controlled …
