Goal Achievers

How did I get started as a Mistress?

I get asked that a lot , especially recently as Twitter eclipsed the 4,000 follower plateau and searches for bdsm have brought in a plethora of new readers – I find in my emails lately a whole lot of “getting to know you” type of questions.

So I thought I’d shelve my thoughts on my recent European trip for a short while and instead spend a couple of stories at least bringing the new readers up to speed on just who I am and what it is Mistress Wael , Arita and I do in the realm of BDSM & Fendom.

Starting with scratching your itch of knowing how I became “me.”

Certainly, the seeds of rebellion were sewn back in school in Sydney , but that was just me acquiring ammunition to change my life for when I’d be sucked back into the dregs of humanity , ie: Bangkok.

Ya there were times in my grade school days where I had flashes of rebellion … after all I did burn all my mom’s clothes , fart in my teacher’s face and sat on a girl’s face after winning a school yard fight … but those were just flashes.

When we’re talking where and when did I actually start truly behaving like a Mistress there has to be an element of purposeful teasing involved in my actions, and that my good readers didn’t happen until my first job back in the city , fresh from living abroad , and hell bent on no longer wishing to act like the good Thai lady I was brought up to be.

Ok when I say first job, technically I mean second.

I’ll let you guess how many hours I survived working for a conglomorae insurance company , cold calling people and convincing them they needed life insurance – because ya , when the ppl I’m calling make $8 / day , buying insurance is the #1 priority on their minds. Right?

To be honest , the cold calling wasn’t the demise of my employment there , it was the constant ‘wai-ing’ at the water cooler, in the lunch room , in the hallway … and the incessant small talk about sweet fuck all that pushed me to walk down 8 flights of stairs and shit in the basement washroom just so I could avoid people. Not to mention my supervisor was – and I shit you not – an exact female replicant of the boss from Office Space … right down to the pink coffee cup she carried around with her when peeking into my cubicle and asking about my sales speech patterns as pointed out in Chapter 39 of the company sales pitch course guide.

When you’re guessing the time of my stay there , make sure you forward your guess in hours instead of days or weeks.

I started on a Monday and it was a rainy Thursday afternoon that had me unemployed and all dolled up applying for a new job in the … well let’s call it the Movie & Television building on Asoke St. Guys “in the know” , Thai and foreigner alike , will go fishing for girls there as there’s so many models , tv personalities , and actresses passing through the Starbucks on the bottom floor that even if you don’t catch a small mouthed bass , the assorted fish that pass by are worth the coffee it costs to sit and oogle.

I was hardly good looking back then , so I didn’t get the job , but as fate would have it – a small printing / graphics shop on the ground floor had a window job posting for a girl who could speak English and all I had to do to be qualified was be able to liase with English speaking customers to grow their graphic design sales. “Aha” I said, “I knew my year of Business English and Creative Writing would come in handy.”

So for $8 a day my job was to flirt with the English speaking customers – of which there were many – and get them to use the shop’s various printing and design services. Easy peasy. You couldn’t tailor design a better job for me.

As far as my graphic design skills go … well I can draw stick men pretty good , but anything beyond that, nash, nope, nada.

Didn’t matter, the Thai speaking guys I worked with were great at what they did on the computer – but more so than that – they were head over heels in lust with me so I was very influential on what I could get them to do.

So one day in walks this half Thai – half American guy in his late 30’s named Pat… more of an American name than Thai, and so I got the feeling right away he was raised in the US and fate had brought him back to where he was born somehow.

If I say the name Anthony Robbins to you , or … ‘former backpacker turned Meditation student who’s recently been enlightened as to how the universe works and wants to forcefully share his newfound knowledge upon you whether you want to hear it or not’ … that kind of guy , does it burn an image in your head?

I hate those kinds of guys.

Namely because they’ve stopped listening to anything anyone says and instead are chomping at the bit for a break in any conversation so they can talk about whatever promotes themselves.

This is what this guy Pat who had walked into the print shop was like. A self promoted salesman peddling self made bullshit through and through.

These guys are all the same.

Self made website promoting their enlightement product? Check.

Gaudy and fake testimonials saturated on said website? Check.

A Mr.Wilson chicklet sized smile whenever he speaks? Check.

Lucky for me … any fool like this still has a dick.

His idea to enlighten the world?

Goal Achievers.

A website , a course , a mantra to embrace , a way of life … all centered around on “achieving unbelievable but attainable goals in one’s life” just by thinking “outside the box.”

Holy shit, the number of times that joker said “outside the box” while actually making a square in the air with his fingers , it was uncountable.

Anyways, what did he want?

He wanted us , the shop , to produce not just a logo for his site, but ‘inspiring art that promoted outside the box thinking.”

Strange that a person who’s sudden life mantra was all about thinking outside the box , complete with a finger drawn air box to boot … couldn’t himself conjure up one single outside the box thought on his own. But I digress.

Such an absurd idea deserves an equally absurd logo , and by extension – website theme.

And right there and then all these absurd ideas started flowing into my mind which I drew up on paper and had Hewey and Dewey (fuck if I can remember their names) refine my ideas and colourize them with Adobe Illustrator.

Five days later Mr Pat walks back into the shop and I danced over to him lightly on my toes and dragged him behind the partition to the computer area by way of tugging on his arm.

Nowadays I’d say that was a planned tactic at breaking through a man’s initial wall as touch , however incidental , is the greatest breaker of barriers among interactions with the opposite sex.

But I was 20’ish at the time and quite naive , so we’ll just put the move off as accidental.

Now mind you, Hewey and Dewey had a few de facto logo’s that they had designed at the ready … but it was my show as the customer only wished to speak English and in particular … only to me.

So without any shame I presented to him my premier idea for his Goal Achievers logo … the fire hydrant fucking a dog idea that you see to your present left.

He wanted to be mad , but I was smiling too much.

When he first wanted to speak I pursed my lips , flipped my hair over my shoulder and said simply “good huh?”

“Good how? In what way does a fire hydrant fucking a dog represent anything I told you about Goal Achievers?”

“Think about it” I said.

“You spend the better part of your life getting peed on by someone. What’s the best way to get revenge? That’s right. Non-consensual sex” I said matter-of-factly. “and THAT … is thinking outside the box” (I made sure to draw my own air box with my fingers as I said it)

Naaa … he wasn’t amused.

“You don’t like the idea” I said , “but it’s like doing a reverse plank , nobody at my gym thought of it either until I started doing it , and now everybody does it.”

Here’s the thing about that line … I remember I said exactly those words and I remember the reason why … I needed an excuse to make his dick hard right there in the store … even with Huey and Dewey sitting a few feet behind me. (My boss and his sister … also a manager , were out for the afternoon)

Right then and there , that was the first intentional use of teasing that I can remember … in a workplace nonetheless … that began the process of me honing my bold and seductive ways.

Luckily he bit the bait “What’s a reverse plank?”

“Something you can’t do” I replied … slapping him with somewhat of a dare.

So for you guys, a reverse plank is simply a way for me to arch my hips into the air and stretch out my breasts with an arch so that he can almost see half way down my bra.

All that disguised as an exercise that works … absolutely no muscle that I can think of , so its really a redundant exercise.

It sure works the cock muscle though. That I can vouch for.

Mr.Pat was noticeably carrying a third stick in his pants watching me do my reverse plank on the floor at his feet.

Then I got this great idea in my head … fuck it’s funny how I remember this as I’m typing it like it was just yesterday. I flipped over and did a normal plank which works the abs.

“Do you know how strong my abs are?” I asked him.

“How?” he replied.

“Strong enough that I can hold this position long after you’ve stopped staring at my ass” and I whipped a glance around behind me so quick as to catch him indeed staring at my ass crack.

He laughed it off , the fact that I caught him staring put him on the defensive.

I stood up and while brushing my hair over my shoulders asked him non-chalantly said “it’s ok , every guy looks at my ass like that.”

“And you see …” I continued as I walked up to the partition separating us and leaned into him “my goal was to get you to stare at my ass and simultaneouly make your dick hard.”

I winked at him “I’m a Goal Achiever” … and I drew the air square with my index fingers “thinking outside the box.”

I can tell you this with absolute certainty.

He may not have thought my fire hydrant idea was comedy gold … which it was.

He may not have even liked the real logo designed by Huey and Dewey which was at the top of the fire hydrant idea.

But Mr.Pat was a customer for life.

Or well, as long as I was working there he was.

Mr.Pat became one of that store’s best customers as we did all his brochures , business cards , posters , pamphlets and the like.

Hell he didn’t even notice that I had photoshopped Osama Bin Laden into his pupils on his business card , he was far too smitten by me.

Every time he’d come to the shop I’d have another Goal Achievers “outside the box” idea for him to consider … courtesy of my college friends who took the idea and ran with it on our Facebook group chat ….

Eventually, my posters made him smile.

Then one time when I had been too busy to draw an idea up for him he was genuinely disappointed.

Every time he’d come into the shop he’d ask me out to lunch , dinner or a movie … every time. And I’d always refuse him saying I was too busy but ‘maybe next time.’

You see, for as long as Mr.Pat … and others … there were many others (but none so intimate as Mr.Pat) would make a point of using the shop … my job was secure.

What I was learning was flirtatious acts … even in a sterile workplace would bring revenue. It’s just that at the time I wasn’t the beneficiary of the revenue boost.

I can’t even put that job on a resume … my bosses tolerated me only insomuch as I generated unexpected profit for them.

But make no mistake, even today, a decade later they’d trash talk me behind my back to anyone who called them for a reference.

Who would call them though? For all I know my manager thinks I’m still navagating the seven seas thanks to my quite famous resignation letter … one that countless other people on the internet have since copied and claimed as their own. Sad but, whatever.

In military terms I “acted in a way unbecoming an officer” or in this case, ‘unbecoming a normal Thai citizen.’ (read: i’m not brainwashed)

Anyways, I’m glad I’ll never have to conjure up bullshit from my life to make me look good on a resume. I hate bullshit.

I pity the grunts out there who would turn what I did in that employment stretch into a resume as such:

– Acted as an English speaking liason between customer and the management for the purposes of generating graphic design business.

– Successfully increased store revenue 200% by implementing strategic measures that the store continues to act upon.

Fuck that. Know what my resume would look like?

– Played to perfection the role of the super hot store clerk that masterfully used flirtation to drain customers of their cash for services they didn’t really need.

– Created a recurring revenue stream by making customers ‘need’ to come back for more business only because it gave them a chance to secure a date with me.

Hmm, now 10 years down the road … what kind of work environment would a girl like me be able to use such skills to my advantage?