My job, or profession per se , is to give you the absolute most erotic, sensual, mind shattering two to four hours of your life. To awaken senses within that have not been fully alive since you were a teenager and to induce an uncontrollable sensation of craving which forces you to submit to me and willingly offer me your heart and soul.
The hardest part of what I do is not related to the time we are in session at all, but rather it is the time measured in days, weeks and months after the session trying to gently curb each gentleman’s passion and devotion to me. Here we are a day removed from Valentine’s Day and I’ve just read my fourth email which seriously proposes marriage since this year began. That comes hard on the heels of the twelve marriage proposals I had last year and yet … here I am single, alone and for the most part lonely. Yet it’s of my own doing.
It’s not that I don’t want to get married. I most desperately do. Underneath all these layers which surround me like walls is the core of me, which is just a girl who wants to be loved and in turn wants to love someone back with all my heart.
My greatest fault I suppose is that I’m choosy, maybe too much so, and while the intense feelings I make men feel for me are great ; to truly consider a man to marry goes very far beyond what is shared in any number of sessions.
I’ll elaborate in a moment , let me first share the email I just read which starts as an account of what we did together but then becomes much more that :
My Mistress,
Today busy boy , I write soon .
You were unbelievable !!!!!!!! Never have i enjoyed as much as i did with you , You are way better , ( dont tell Jaa)!!!!!
You are incredible
i am missing you so much .
When a guy cums as you know he just wants to go and have a beer , with you i did not want to go ,
I fallen madly in love , you are what i have been dreaming for all my life and i want so much to marry you , I am going to work on that !!!!
I will abide by any conditions , i will be a good faithful loving obedient husband .
My heart is hurting away from you my Mistress ,
your best and most favorite slave
I deeply thank you for allowing me to see you.
It was a long day for a short session but very well worth it.
I wanted after i discovered you to come and see you as soon as i could to be able to meet you and establish myself as one of your slaves.
i was nervous as you know , visibly shaking at times.
i wanted to please you , i wanted you to find me accepatble as one of your slaves.
Yes i love femdom , always have , but to be under the control of the most beautiful woman in this world, be in her presence , be close to her was an incredible experience for me .
Kneeling before you naked and vulnerable and totally in your power was incredible for me.
I loved everything you did to me ,
Except the whip of course but i know i must be punished for wrong doings and is all part and very necessary to be punished to learn not to do anyhting wrong .
I was grateful you kept the punishment level down and i know from that movie you sent me and the actual punishment i received never to make you angry !!!
i am grateful for your whipping Mistress , and i thank you for my punishment Mistress , i promise i will always endevour to be good boy to keep my punishment levels down.
I respect you as my superior , i respect you as my Mistress and i am so very desperate to be owned and totally controlled by you .
I loved so much looking into your eyes , you are intoxicating, As you slap my face , spit in me ( delicious !) pull my hair to where you want my head and listen to your incredible voice and allow me to suck your toes and lick your feet and have your feet in my mouth, for me unbelievable pleasure.
To be collared and leashed by you and crawl behind you is such a lovely feeling as at that moment i am belong to you , i am controlled by you.
Even the painful spikey thing you put on and locked , I can only imagine how it would be to be chastied and locked by you in a marriage .
The tease and denial was unbelievable , Jaa was a tease and denial specialist , and very good at it , but yours was so unbelievable , the skill in your tiny hands , but you are so very different as you talk sexy , you make it more difficult to hold off from cumming, as you tal about , things , lile , ‘you want to fuck me ” etc and say aloud “i will be your best slave , i will be your slave forever” I know that you have many things you could say to make it impossible to hold off,
the way you said , ” you are not allowed to cum , you have to have my permission to cum , you will eat your cum if i let you cum.
It is so very very difficult to control not to cum , and when i look at you , most sepecially when I saw your fantastic ass near my face , so difficult Mistress , It was the best tease and ddnial i have ever ever experienced and i deeply thank you.
I loved lying on the floor totally under your power as you put your feet in my mouth, and toyed with my cock and balls with your feet , i love my face to be under your feet , not only do i love your feet but i love the sense of being under your power.
I loved the way you were sticking your finger up your ass and talking about feeling your shit for me to taste , and asking me if i want to eat your shit and so on , I loved sucking your finger clean , and i could taste your shit , The power , i am desperate for any taste of you and yes I will eat your shit , i want to be able to prove to you that i will do anyhting for you , I want to be able to swallow , and as i get used to it to be used by you as your toilet , desperate for anyhting from your body.
And to taste your finger that had been inside your pussy was soon nice , I can only imagine what it would be like to be allowed to lick your pussy .
You pee was so delicious and i loved licking it from your leg and the floor , that is a real honour and i hope so much one day if Mistress would lock my mouth onto her pussy and let me drink the whole lot .
I beg and beg and beg for face sitting , i apologise for asking , and i live in the hope for your said ” maybe next time ”
To be under you ass would be the best thing in the world .
it is an incredible ass , you are an incredible woman,
and when you put your legs on my face and gave me permission to cum , was the most unbelievable sensation.
I want so very much to be close to you , I want so very much to be your slave
i dream of being your slave BF and slave husband and i beg you to marry me .
i well know you get asked that twice a day but i did feel we have a connection , i do feel that we can have fun in a normal life , and that femdom is not 24 hrs a day , but that i am always under your control , always obedient polite and respectful.
I would have thought that you must get sick of seeing clients every day and will one day want a normal life but be with someone who when you snap your fingers will immedietly obey.
I will.
Mistress , i am totally obsessed with you.
I say again , i love you and will do anyhting to be with you.
i thank you for allowing me to be your slave , and I WILL become your best and favourite slave .
If you did ever think i might have a chance with you , i would never ever ask you to do anyhting you did not want , i am happy for a femled life and totally understand that you will see who you want , and that i would be cuckolded . I simply want to be with you , under your power , owned and controlled but most of all to eventually be loved by you
With utter worship
your slave R…..
That goes far beyond flattery, what you are reading there is a man who has taken the time to open up his soul to me … that is a man completely exposed and revealed and I thank him for such an amazing letter.
I have countless letters just like that one. Each as dear to me as the last.
It’s astonishing that I can touch so many hearts be they 23, 63 or any age in between it makes no difference. Just as this lovely gentleman who was too kind to write such an amazing letter professed his love for me, many others have done the same and I remain single not because of age issues but because I understand the complexity of love and I respect the time it takes to fully gauge an individual’s personality to determine whether that person is worthy of a lifetime commitment.
I had true love in my hand at one point in my life, did I ever tell you that? I let it go.
My first boyfriend was a Thai schoolmate back in grade school and over the course of eight wonderful years we grew up and shared each others lives so simply and yet completely that I feel I was truly lucky to have walked through such difficult years with such a strong leeward breeze of love to carry me. It’s just that when I came back from studying oversees I had changed so much while he had remained stagnant that I simply knew it was no longer possible for him to grant me what my new wishes desired having just had my eyes opened to the world.
So it’s not only time that is needed to choose the right person, it also has to be the right time. I will never forget the day he dropped to his knees begging me not to leave him and through his tears he could only ask me time and time again to give him a reason why and I stood there speechless unable to summarize how living on a different continent changed who I was. I thank him though. Not a day goes by where I don’t thank him for showing me what devotion a man is capable of and it’s because of him that I hold any future suitors to the same high levels that I demanded and received from him.
Next month I’ll be taking a week off to attend the weddings of the last two friends I knew from back home who still remain unmarried. Come March 21st I’ll be the last remaining girl from the village where I was raised to be unwed. I’ve met all of their husbands, both present and former and I wouldn’t have chosen any of them. I’ve always believed that in a relationship, I have to be the one to bring out what I am looking for in a partner. To do that though, there has to be a certain depth of character in the person I’m interested in and to be blunt, it just isn’t found in men from where I’m from.
Most of my relationships barely make it past the one year milestone.
It’s not from lack of trying that’s for sure.
I had a teacher when studying abroad – Vladamir – who began his first class with us by holding up a rope in the front of the tiny lecture hall where he was standing with his scruffy woolen vest, peering up at us through his glasses and stroking his Mandy Patinkin-esque beard. He simply said that the class we were all about to take was like a rope, one could use it to climb up or one could use it to hang themselves, the choice was ours.
As it relates to me and my relationships, the rope is a metaphor for time, and given enough of it, men simply hang themselves in front of me one after the other.
So coming back to this whole thing of how an intense session begets relationship requests, just know that yes I very much want to get married. The fact that I’ve had eight solid proposals since I took on the job of being head mistress – and I remain un-married should give you an idea how high the wall in front of you is that you intend to climb.
It’s better you take a deep breath and just appreciate the session for what it was … a session far more intense than you were prepared to experience … and so the best move for you may be to simply walk away from the wall and be content.
Careful as you do though , there are bodies crashing to the ground all around you.
kh xx
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